Humor alters sugar?

: Arrow :: Arrow: & GT; & GT; It is said that when God created the world, so that men prosperas decided to grant them two virtues.So :
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT;- Swiss were ordered and compliant with the law.
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT;- The English made persistent and scholars.
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT;- The Japanese made workers and patients.
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT;- To the cheerful and romantic Italians.
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT;- The French made cults and refined.
& GT;& GT;& GT; & GT; And when he reached the Spaniards, he turned to the angel who took note and said:
"The Spaniards are going to be intelligent, good people and the Popular Party"
When he just created the world, the angel told God: "Lord, you gave all the peoples two virtues and the Spaniards three. This will make them prevail over everyone else."
"It is true, well as the divine virtues cannot be removed, that the Spaniards from now on have three, but the same person cannot have more than two virtues at the same time."So :
The Spanish that is from the Popular Party and good person, cannot be intelligent.
The one who is intelligent and of the Popular Party cannot be a good person.-
And he who is intelligent and good person, cannot be from the Popular Party.
:)) :))

Very good Jose .... :)) :)) :))

Yes, it is very good, hehehe.

I copy you a very bad one, which makes me laugh a lot:

"He was such a small, so small man, that he had no doubt"

Health :))

He is in the tail of hell a smoke and when he touches him, they ask him for his sins and says that he smoked many, many joints.Well then, you will pass eternity in room 1. The guy goes to room 1, open the door and see a room full of marijuana.You start filling your pockets and take everything you can.Continue walking and sees another door, opens it and is full of papers, starts one and collect all you can.Continue walking and, finally, find a demon and ask for fire.And the demon says: -Fue?Uncle, this is hell, if I had fire this would be heaven.

At the last dinner, Jesus goes and asks the waiter.Then, Judas goes and says: -Deja, leave, I pay, that I have charged a little job ...

: D: D one a little green:

Pepito runs to inform the mother:

"Mom, mom, I saw dad doing something with the maid."

"Yes, what else?"

"Well, he was kissing her and touching her; then they went to the office, the
He rode on the desk, took his underwear and put the ... "

"Well, son, this Sunday, at the family dinner, tell everyone
so that they know. "

Sunday night arrives, the whole family is sitting willing
Dinner, and the mother tells Pepito to tell him.

"My dad was kissing the maid and touching her; then she took her to
Office, he rode it on the desk, took his underwear and
He put the .... Mommy, what is the name of what you suck the driver? ": Twisted :: Twisted :: Twisted:

They call a endo, "Hey Doctor, that my son has swallowed a condom !!!!!", Joé, wait now.And while we are wearing another call, "Doctor, it is no longer necessary to come. We have found another !!!!"

Dad, dad, where is Russia?
-Cive mom to mom, she is the one who orders the house.

A femino-milkista:

8) 8) grammatical doubt

A teacher explained that nouns have gender and are designated as
male or female:
The house is feminine.
The pencil is masculine.
A student asked,
How should it be said, computer or computer?
Instead of giving an answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups:
Men on the one hand and women on the other- and asked them to decide if
The computer or computer must be masculine or a female name.
Asked each group to base their decision on at least 4
arguments

The group of men decided that the computer should be
definitely of the female gender (the computer) because:
1. Almost no one understands its internal logic.
2. The native language in which they communicate with each other is incomprehensible
For everyone else.
3. Even smaller errors are saved in long -term memory
For possible review a long time later.
4. As soon as you have one, you will be spending at least half of
Her salary in accessories for her.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers must
Being masculine (the computer) because:
1. To do something with them, you have to light them
2. They store many data but still cannot think for themselves
same.
3. They are supposed to help solve problems, but most of the
Time, they are the problem
4. As soon as you have one, you will immediately understand that, if you had expected
A little more, I could have achieved another better.
: Twisted :: Twisted:

I am very bad for this of the jokes, but today I got an email with this grace.I hope you like it ..

Christopher Columbus was able to discover America just because it was single !!

Because?If Christopher Columbus had had a wife, he would have had to hear:

-And why do you have to go?

It always touches you.You are the dester.

-You will never see your mother and you'll go see the Indies!

- And why don't they send another?

- You see Round!Are you crazy or are I idiot?

- You don't know my family and you will discover the New World!

- What do you hide?You don't even know where you go!

- And are you just going to travel men?Who will believe it?

- And why can't I go if you are the boss?

- Unfortunate, you don't know what to invent to be away from home?

- If you cross that door I go with my mother!Scoundrel!

- And who is that Maria?What does it look?And the very daughter of a bitch becomes the saint!

- And you say it is a girl? ... Go to shit!

- You had everything planned, damn!You will meet Indies whores.

- Are you cheating on me?

- What the queen is going to sell her jewels for you to travel?Do you believe me silly or what? What do you have with that old woman?

- I will not allow you to go anywhere!

- Nothing will happen if the world is still flat.So don't see that you don't go!

How goodooooooo :))

: x: x this thread is a little stopped, that does not decline, humor is needed: :)) :))

A man and a woman coincide in the same compartment as
car-car of a train.They didn't know each other and even knew their
names because they did not appear.
"Embarrassing situation," he thought.
"Seeing what" this "tonight does.- She thought.
After tense and pregnant initial moments, they both went to bed.Each one in his bed, of course.The man in the upper bunk and she in the lower one.
At midnight, the man leans to the side of the bunk, wakes up the woman and says:
- I feel upset it, but I have a tremendous cold.Could you get another blanket?The woman also looks out to the side of the bunk and with a wink tells her:
- I have a better idea, just this night suppose we are married.
The man, delighted, says: - Okay, phenomenal!
Then the woman tells her:
- Take it yourself, Gilipollas!
: P: p

hahahaha very good ..... !!!!!

Real conversations registered between a technical assistance service and users of computer equipment.
Case 1
Service technician: What computer do you have?
User: one white color with gray trim ...
Service technician: (silence) ...

Case 2
User: Hello!I can't get the CD from the player.
SERVICE TECHNICAL: Have you tried to tighten the button?
User: Yes, of course, it's like glued ..
Service technician: That doesn't sound good, I will take note.
User: No ... wait .... I hadn't put the CD ... it is still at the table ..., thanks.

Case 3
Service technician: Click on the 'Mi PC' icon, to the left of the screen.
User: Your left or my left?

Case 4
Service technician: Good morning, what can I help you?
User: Hello, I can't print.
Service Technician: Please click on 'Start' and ...
User: Listen, do not start with technicalities, I am not an expert in computers.Pussy!

case 5
User: Hello, good afternoon.Look, I can't print, every time I try, 'he is not a printer'.I have even taken the printer, I have placed it in front of the monitor but the computer still says that it cannot find it !!!!!

Case 6
User: I have problems printing in red.
Service technician: Do you have a color printer?
User: No, mine is white alone ...

Case 7
Service technician: What do you see in your monitor right now?
User: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought me in Barcelona ...

Case 8
Service Technician: Now, press F8 ...
User: It doesn't work.
Service technician: Have you done it correctly?
User: Yes, I have pressed the lyrics f ...

Case 9
User: My keyboard does not want to work.
Service technician: Are you sure you are connected?
User: I don't know.I do not reach the back.
Service technician: take the keyboard and take ten steps back ..
User: Ok
Service technician: Does the keyboard continue with you?
User: Yes
Service technician: That means that the keyboard is not connected. Is there any other keyboard?
User: Yes, there is another here.Huy, .... This does work !!!

Case 10
Service Technician: Your password is 'A' lowercase from Andenger, v capital of Victor, number 7 ...
User: 7 in the upper or lower case?

Case 11
User: I can't connect to the Internet, key error appears.
Service technician: Are you sure you are using the correct password?
User: Yes, I'm sure, I saw my husband write it.
Service technician: Can you tell me what the password was?
User: 5 Asterisks.

Case 12
User: I have a serious problem.A friend put a screen protector, but every time I move the mouse the protector disappears ...

Case 13
User: I can't find the icon to open the word.
Service technician: Look on the desktop.What do you see there?
User: Many papers and my bag ...

Fer, that is my land and I attest that it is true, that happens daily.

Let's see if you like this:
Journal of a boss
& GT;
& GT;Today I have fired my assistant. & GT;
& GT;Why have I fired my assistant today? & GT;
& GT;It was my 43rd birthday, my humor was not very good to say. & GT;
& GT;That morning, when I woke up, I went to the kitchen to take
& GT;A cup of coffee, waiting for my husband to tell me:
-"Happy birthday, dear."
But he didn't say good morning ... & GT;
& GT;Then I told myself: "That is the man that I
& GT;I deserve! "
& GT;But continue imagining: "Children will surely remember."
& GT;But when they arrived for breakfast, they didn't say a word.
& GT;Thus, I left the house quite discouraged, but I felt a little better when I entered my office and my assistant (an adonis)
told me:
"Good morning, graduate, happy birthday!
& GT;Finally someone had agreed ...
& GT;We worked until noon, when my assistant entered me
& GT;Office, saying:
& GT;- "He knows a graduate ....... A beautiful day and since he is his
Birthday, we could have lunch together, alone you and me. "
& GT;I accepted, and we went to a fairly reserved place. & GT;
& GT;We had a lot of fun, and on the way back, he proposed: & GT;
& GT;- "With this beautiful day, I think we should not return to the
& GT;office.
& GT;We go to my apartment, and there we can have a drink. "
& GT;We went then to his apartment, and while I savored a Martini, he said:
& GT;-"If you don't care, I'm a moment to my room to wear a little more comfortable clothes."
& GT;- "Okay, as you want," I replied.
& GT;After five minutes, more or less, he left the room with a
Huge cake with 43 candles, followed by my husband, my children, my
Friends and all office staff.
& GT;And everyone singing, "Happy birthday ...!
& GT;And there I was, naked, without support, or panties, cast in
The lounge sofa ... waiting for the bastard !!!!!!!!!
& GT;After all this, there will be someone who still insists on
Ask me why did I say goodbye to my assistant?

By request from the public, there goes another:

One of Basques ....

A donostiarra of travel in Japan, a couple of glasses of great technology is bought, which made all women see naked.
Koldo puts the glasses, looks, and sees naked to all
Women ... I was delighted.
He puts the glasses, naked.
Remove your glasses, dressed.
Oh, by God, what a wonder!Koldo returned to Donosti, crazy
for showing his wife the novelty.
On the plane, he feels crazy watching the hostesses
totally naked.
When he gets home, his glasses are immediately placed, to see his wife naked.
Open the door and see Nekane (his wife) and Jokin (his friend),
Naked on the couch!
He removes his glasses, naked.He puts on the glasses, naked.
They take them away ... naked.He puts them ... naked.
And exclaims: Oh the ostia!They are new and they no longer work!
: P: P: P: P

I am not very good with this jokes, but there is one of the Treasury:

Once the fiscal year was finished, the Tax Agency sent a farm inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.While he was checking them, he turned to the rabbi and said:

- I observe that they bought a lot of candles.What do they do with the remains of wax that drip?

"Good question," said the rabbi.We are keeping them and we return them to the manufacturer, and from time to time they send us a circuit box for free.

- Oh!replied the inspector, something disappointed that his unusual question would have had such a good answer, but continued with his odious ways.What can you tell me about your cookie purchases?What do they do with crumbs?

"Ah, yes," the rabbi replied, realizing that the inspector was trying to put him in a tighten with his absurd question-, we pick them up and return them to the manufacturers, and from time to time they send us a box of blessed cookies for free.

"I see," the inspector replied, squeezing the coconut to see how he could get the Rabbi's know -to -know.Well, Rabbi, and then what do they do with the foresters that are left of the circumcisions they carry out?

"Well, we either waste anything," the rabbi replied.What we do is keep them and send them to the Tax Agency, and from time to time, once a year or so, they send us a complete cocoon.

:)) ... Well, it seems very good !!

Two single sisters had a pharmacy inherited from the father.One day a man enters and asks for a condom.
One of the women takes one size 6.
- No, it's small - says the man.
It takes one size 8.
- No, I think it's still small.
Take out one size 10, but the man says no, that he is small.
She tells the man that the greatest she has is size 12, but the man tells her no, that bigger.Then the 'lady' shouts her sister:
- Hermenegildaaaaaaaa, the Lord needs a larger condom than that of size 12 and I can't find any here, what can I offer you? 'And Hermenegilda answers:
- 'Effirm house, food and half of the pharmacy !!!!!!!!!

The thief enters the bank, goes to the cashier and pointing him with his gun demands the money.

Once with the spoil in the hands, it turns and asks a client:

Did you see me stealing the bank?

Yes, I saw you.

The thief raises his gun, placed it on the forehead and kills him.Then he turns to a marriage stopped by his side and

Ask the man:

Did you see me stealing the bank?

I didn't see anything ..

Well, says the thief and when he begins to keep the gun the husband adds:

No, but my wife did see you !!!!